To be on the Receiving End of a Pail of Cold Water

Life was nothing but a deep slumber in a wintery cold night; assumptions just parts of a blanket made to keep myself protected, content, at peace. But it was never big enough against the cold realties that always seemed to penetrate....and then came the pail of cold water.

The experience, well, it leaves you senseless, numb...talking gibberish; pathetically trying to find in dark that one switch of reason that’ll help you understand what just happened, the who, the why.

Little by little I try to get back any resemblance to normality, piece by piece, memory by memory, word by word. It’s like solving a jig-saw puzzle, a huge montage that is my life. The trouble is that nothing is same anymore...the fear is nothing ever will be again. All the while recuperating, feeling those sudden shivers that is the cold which has penetrated deep within. And this is when I realize the problem now is not the cause, not the pail of cold water, but the chill it had brought, the uncertainties it had spread.

In this puzzle that is life, there are always new pieces to be stumbled upon, there are always some pieces that remain lost; until I die I’ll keep finding and losing them...that is the way how it will be. This flood today washed few pieces off and brought ashore some old pieces back. It’ll take time to build the whole thing again, it’ll take some effort to find and fit them all. All I can hope is that when this day ends, I still have the pieces that matter the most.

          

Still The Same

Yes I know, that we have traveled,

long miles in a short while together

and some how the things did change...

We are walking the same route, and it has rained,

But I am still the same.

In the awkwardness that has followed,

don't turn around or forget the name,

Don't let go of the hands you held and claimed..

Proud i was once to return your extended grip,

and nothing's changed, am still the same.

New players shall join, both you and me,

Old allies shall be regained again.

It doesn't have to mean that we'll be tamed.

I promised you, i have your back my friend,

still standing there, am still the same.

Its a morphing world, and no matter where we are,

dark dungeons, New York or in some country west,

or even when beyond recognition, the whole world has changed.

I would be happy, and content,knowing that when it comes to you and me,

no matter what happened with rest, we are still the same.

Ode to the Lost Lover

No, i won't miss you anymore, for life has to go on.

And a thousand stones need to be laid,

and i have only started now.

No, the memories won't haunt me, like i thought they would.

The nights will be sound and days will flow by,

no aching longings to bring me down.

No, life won't lose its colors, so many it still has to show.

My friends would still make me smile,

and dance when rain clouds sound.

But yes, yes there will be times, when even though I’ll have miles to pave ahead.

I'll halt and turn to see if maybe,

you were still in sight to wave back.

Yes, there will be nights when dreams will bring you back,

only to part us once again.

But each of those times will bring with them,

a subtle reminder of those days, of those nocturnal pains.

Yes, i move on now, ready to face more rains.

Believing that in some December winter,

I'll get my April spring again.

Whispers....

I was inspired to write this one by one specific person....but as it turns out....this is a case with many.... Although a little tough this time....but this is one of my dearest yet.....

Laughing loud at every jest, even if it’s least fun,

To get my presence felt, even by making jokes with me in front.

This wasn't the way I had thought, of singing my life's rhythm.

But habit, addiction, plea or umm.....? I don’t know what this has become.

Things that matter, words that "say", replaced by lies I hear and play.

Everything that was important to me, no more are part of my essay.

Listen to the whispers for they are,

The truthest that I ever say.

Maslow & Me...

And i was worried my life would finally become uneventful…always being a favorite pet of gods of chaos; nothing unnerved me….or that’s just a fancier way of saying I was bored by the daily happenings of life.A smooth hassle free life…it’s a concept long chased by most…esp. people in India

1. Basic needs

2. Securities

3. Love/friendship

4. Esteem

5. Self-actualization….so goes the list of Maslow’s need hierarchy theory. All humans are motivated by above needs in the order they appear. Currently, most fortunately, all thanks to my parent’s doctorly professions, I safely have the basic most necessarily needed of requirements and thus I skip 1 and 2. I have great friends and a high opinion of myself, and I don’t care what says the rest…

Fuck the job, fuck the world….am all in for self-actualization and hence right now all I want to do is keep tasting new blood. If this line made you uneasy, you are either too dumb to get it, or in love with me, or in one specific case….both.

Anyways coming back to Maslow, self-actualization for me involves an attempt to see all the colours there are to be seen…and figuring which suits me the best. They don’t always have to be bright…..and an occasional grey is welcome because the beauty about grey is that its comparison to other colour makes them more beautiful. That’s how life is….it isn’t about the happy ending….but an eventful middle…isn’t about getting everything…it’s about wanting it all.

So anyways, when my life was suddenly devoid of everything exciting….and when even the thing I thought I never got, became the thing I had, that thing no longer held its charm, and I ended up rhyming all bad. Then the same gods of chaos, those satanic spirits of anarchy, decided to play cheap and dealt one of their most powerful hands…….and that my friends is a different story and thus my first post ends.